A tale from Oliver Ray, oliverray.blogspot.com, @oliverray

Hampstead Lido
(includes cold water swimming guidelines, water quality results and recent temperatures)

Being of hardy northern stock and not a soft-skinned-lily-livered-southern-pansy, cold is of no consequence to me. So when I noticed the Highgate ponds on Hampstead Heath were open throughout winter I decided to go for a swim. One friend—the odd sort who likes to cycle across countries for fun—decided to come along.

There are three fresh water ponds located on the east side of the Heath, off Millfield Lane: One for men (bearded), one for women (bearded) and one for both (because a date’s not a date without Sudden Immersion Syndrome). They were originally reservoirs to help quench London’s insatiable thirst and have since become internationally famous swimming pools, the single gender ones open all year round. For a mere £2 you can take a dip, if so inclined.

Men's Pond

Women's Pond

Mixed Pond (saucy)

Time ticked on and the weather became a mite chillier. I began to have doubts. Could I manage this? I don’t carb load or protein shake. My marathons involve a pot of tea and the Downton Abbey boxset. But my friend was set on the enterprise now, so I was bound to see it through.

The morning of, I packed an extra scarf and jumper along with my swimming things and set off. It could have been an opening scene from 999. The crisp morning, the carefree youth, the dark ominous water with DEATH LURKING BENEATH. It would have scarcely surprised me if Michael Buerk had popped out from behind a tree, grim eyed and saying “It started like any other weekend…”

My friend and I rendezvoused at the gate to the pond. Beyond this was a machine to pay our entry fee of £2. I dutifully fed it the coins. It swallowed them, seemed to consider for a moment, then did nothing. It seems, at this time of year at least, the entry system is somewhat lax. We wandered down a small flight of stone stairs entering a roofless changing area not dissimilar to a prison yard.

“You going in?” an inevitably bearded gent asked us. “Going to try,” I replied, sounded keener than I felt. I had already downgraded my ambitions from ‘half hour swim’ to ‘brief immersion then a large brandy’.

I changed and moved outside to the water’s edge. There were a couple of jetties projecting into the water, one with a diving board attached. Next to the pond was a small cabin, in which sat a lifeguard, poised for action with a thermos and crossword puzzle.

My companion—idiot—was already in. I paused, vacillating. I wondered if I should cut and run. Blame it on anything. The weather. The Taliban. The boogie. Then I launched myself off the end of the jetty. For a moment I hung suspended in space. Several thoughts passed through my mind. Christ, there could be eels in here. I do not want an eel up my bottom. Oh, pull yourself together. And, let’s be honest, how cold can it…

The water was 11 °C. I’m told that in 10°C water, hypothermia sets in after about an hour. I started cutting through the water in a rough crawl. The movement felt good and warming. Eventually though, my arms began to stiffen. My testicles were fast becoming purely ornamental. I did a further lap of the pond then hauled myself back onto the jetty. The novelty of being oddly warm, semi naked and outside in autumnal London wore of pretty quickly and I threw on my clothes in no particular order.

In addition to my friend and I there were five other men there; three who had seen both world wars and were clearly inured to the arctic water over years of exposure; a man who had brought a wetsuit and was looking all smug about it; and a Spanish tourist. We left them to it and hurried across the Heath to The Magdala where sausages, calves’ liver, mash and that large brandy by the fire proved utterly restorative.

If you are thinking of swimming in the Highgate ponds, I suggest safely removing your balls prior to entering the water or following the City of London’s advice and habituating yourself to the lower temperatures over a couple of months.

The Magdala
2a South Hill Park, London, NW3 2SB
Tel: 0207 435 2503